The Lingerie Project: How Does Sexy Feel?

My introduction of the word “sexy” came from the early 2000’s video vixens. They were different from the Victoria’s Secret models I convinced my mother to let me watch once a year during their runway show. These women had skin in variations of brown I had only seen in the 96 crayola box, yet somehow gold seemed to peak through in all of their shades. They were curvaceous in ways I had only seen in the women of my family. Everything, from the flip of their hair to the way their lipgloss sat perfectly on their lips, just spoke to me.

While video vixen aesthetics is something that is still near and dear to my heart, as I’ve gotten older I’ve found new ways to view sexy and incorporate it in ways that work for me.

For Valentine’s Day, I spoke to eight women who define their sexy in different ways and share a love of lingerie. Read some of their stories below:

Name: Giovanna

Age: 22

Twitter/IG: thewoman.in.red

When did you first fall in love with lingerie?

Well, my god mother worked for Fashion Fair Cosmetics for 20-something years. Once she left there, she became the GM for Victoria’s Secret. She was the best god mom and taught me everything about sexiness. She taught me everything from etiquette, menstrual shit, how to walk into a room, how to land a job and be a boss bitch, and how to be sexy on different levels depending on my age. She bought me my first pair of PINK by VS panties when I was like 12. I didn’t even think to be sexy for anyone, it was just an internal excitement about wearing it though nobody saw it, kinda like your first bra—but bomb.

When you bought your first piece of lingerie who/what was it for?

When I bought my first lingerie set, I was a freshman in college. It was a cliché reason for purchase—Valentine’s day. I bought a two piece lacy number from H&M with white thigh highs and a garter belt from American Apparel. It was bomb and I had this bone straight blonde wig that set it off. I gave my boo a lil lap dance in them hard ass wooden dorm chairs  and let him hit it wit the panties pushed to the side. I just was too pressed to even take it off.

How did it make you feel wearing it?

I felt like that bitch, period. Something about a shaved coochie, greasy shea-buttered ass, a red lip gloss and blonde hair makes you feel the baddest thing walking.

Define your sexy. What makes you feel that way?

Sexiness is all about taste and confidence –from the selection of lingerie and wine selection to the scent you choose to wear and down to your pedicure.

Pro tip: If you didn’t have time to get a pedi, use polish remover and pop on a clear coat or go with a sexy thigh high.

Confidence relates to how you feel about yourself—regardless of who’s around. You have to feel so in tune with your look and overall self, that even if he is awkward, it won’t make you feel self conscious or second guess yourself. Never believe that there is something wrong with you based on his uncomfortable bullshit. 

Name: Tahirah “ Tea” Jarrett

Age: 26

Twitter: Tahirahjarrett IG: Tahirah.J

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When did you first fall in love with lingerie?

I first fell in love with lingerie when I actually started working at Victoria’s Secret at 20. Helping other women prepare for a special occasion with their partner or just for themselves really inspired me to enjoy my femininity and sexuality. I’ve always loved the art of seduction, so working with lingerie all day just enhanced my experiences.

When you bought your first piece of lingerie who/what was it for?

I bought my first piece for myself and then finally wore it for my boyfriend at the time a year later. It took me forever to wear it for him because I didn’t think he’d enjoy it as much as I did. He wouldn’t appreciate how bomb I looked in it. I wore it all the time though. I’d prance around my house in it and listen to old school r&b, just being real lusty in the mirror. It was great.

How did it make you feel wearing it?

Lingerie makes me feel like the baddest lil bitch with the fattest ass walking this earth. I literally ask myself  “What would Rihanna do in this,” and I channel my inner Robyn Fenty.

Define your sexy. What makes you feel that way?

My idea of sexy would certainly link to  desire, confidence, and originality. Sexiness starts from within, so it has to be an authentic feeling. It’s the type of alluring confidence you uphold to make you feel self-assured, unfazed, and unbothered by the ways of the world.  

What makes you feel that way?

Hypnotizing music, a good self-care routine, and a bomb ass attire makes me feel like this. I really enjoy oiling my body up and throwing on some stripper music and dancing in the mirror, like “YASSSS” I literally turn myself on and that’s how I like to feel sexy.

Name: AsiahMae

Age: 26

Twitter: _Asiahmae IG: AsiahMae

When did you first fall in love with lingerie?

Honestly, I loved lingerie as a kid. Around 10, my mom started taking me lingerie shopping with her because she felt like I needed to get used to seeing women buy things for themselves. I loved going to stores with her and seeing all the sets and the models on the pictures looking like they felt so Godly. I would go through magazines and tell myself which sets I would buy when I got old enough.

When you bought your first piece of lingerie who/what was it for?

This is going to sound so bad, but when I was in 7th grade I got dared to buy a thong and wear it to school by this girl who hated me. I didn’t want to seem like a punk, so I watched the episode of Degrassi where Manny started wearing thongs for some confidence (S/O to Degrassi for shaping my life!), made my mom take my Walmart and bought a cheap set for like $25 of my babysitting money. I wore it to school and I hated it (I still hate thongs) but I fell in love with lace bras.

How did it make you feel wearing it?

I felt so grown with that cheap ass little bra on lmao my little B cups were SITTING and I walked a little taller, switched a little harder. I remember painting my nails in gym because I thought “I can’t be this sexy under these clothes and not be put together!”

Define your sexy. What makes you feel that way?

My sexy is confident, it’s seductive and coy without being pressed. My sexy is bossy as fuck and deliciously evil like a super villain. I’m a Scorpio, I can’t help it. It’s a feeling, an attitude really. When I get a fresh cut or find the perfect red lippie, or when I’m fresh out the shower after a good scrub and I’m buttering myself up, or when I’m just lying naked in a cloth painting my toes, sexy is the aura, that mood.

What are your favorite lingerie brands?

I’m a big girl, so I’m thankful the world is finally giving us some affordable sexy. I’m not too picky, but i like Lane Bryant, Torrid and ASOS the best for their style + prices.

Name: Shannon

Age: 25

Twitter/IG: shannyytee

When did you first fall in love with lingerie?

When I was 20, I started to work in a lingerie store my junior year of undergrad and didn’t know half of that stuff existed. I was intimidated, and uncomfortable in my skin, but at the same time loved how pretty lace looks.

When you bought your first piece of lingerie who/what was it for?

I bought my first piece of lingerie when I was 21. It was for the guy I was seeing at the time. HE LOVED IT.  He literally just stared at me for five minutes without speaking. It was black, tight and sheer down the entire back. The garter and stockings made it look extra seductive.

How did it make you feel wearing it?

Wearing that little get up made me feel like Bey-fucking-yonce. She personifies femininity and sex appeal so to feel like  I was channeling Queen Bey was big for me. It made me appreciative of my body and I was in awe of the power I had over this man. If I told him to walk across a football field of hot coal, he most likely would’ve done it.

Define your sexy. What makes you feel that way?

I don’t exactly know how to define my sexy. I know what makes me feel physically sexy is when my legs are smooth and freshly waxed, my mani and pedi are fresh and my skin looks so healthy and radiant that when the lingerie does come off, bae won’t be able to keep his hands and eyes off me.  

What are your favorite lingerie brands?

It depends on what I’m buying:

I love teddies because they are the most flattering for my body shape. I’m thicker on the bottom than on top so a good teddy really highlights my best assets. Jezebel, Haughty, iCollection, and Ooh La La Cherie have some of the best teddy selections out right now.

Shirley of Hollywood makes really pretty nighties and chemises those are good for a calm slay when I want to lure him over without trying too hard. For thongs, I like Hanky Panky, they literally have the world’s softest lace thongs. Lace should never feel like an episode of the Itchy and Scratchy show.  I also love Calvin Klein’s classic cotton undies.